Wednesday, 1 January 2014

A Cup of Tea and A Window Seat.

In the first 6 months of 2013 i had visited 6 countries. I  learnt so much about life. And be reminded of the freedom in nature and travels (as cheesy as that sounds). I had traveled with people (mostly Americans) who highlighted what friendship is.

 I commit to traveling to some new places this year- for the right reasons.

On  the 9th of February i received a parcel from a friend that was filled with thoughtfulness. On the 22nd-24th of  March i met and fell in love with a whole bunch of wonderful people, who've become like family. On the 22nd of June i sat at a table, laden with food and wine and in the company of just a few of the most precious people i know. On July 19th till 23rd i sat in my best friends garden painting sticks. On the 20th of October i drank tea and sat in a friends living room, talking and painting each others portraits.

I look forward to investing in my friendships, and repairing the damage neglect has done. 

On the 8th of May 2013 i lay on-board a 32ft sailing boat, underneath a blanket of stars and Sky. With the fire of whiskey in my chest. And on the 17th of September 2013 i sat at a kitchen table with tea, toast and homemade jam.

I shall wonder and gaze at this world and its splendor and the simplest forms of beauty this year.

On the 21st of September 2013 I sat in a bus station, waiting on a very delayed bus. In my own tunnel and thoughts i watched a less able bodied, elderly gentleman struggle with his bags, and i didnt help. I didnt even notice what i was watching until another elderly gentleman (who had already given up his seat for a lady) gave him a hand with his bags.

I hope to find the joy in being nice to people again. 

On the 5th of December 2013 I sat at the window in my new room in the middle of a panic attack (one of many this year) as wind tore up the city and rain lashed on the glass pane. Again a beloved comforted me, and everything was okay- better for the bad experience actually.

I will get rid of some anxiety this year. 

 At 5.23 am on the 1st of January 2014 I was sat in a car holding back tears. I have forgotten and undervalued my most beloveds. I have undervalued you. I have criticized in fear and anger. I haven't apologized or thanked you enough times. I havent followed through the kind gestures i think of doing for you. Ive been pushing and running away this year- in a vain attempt to grow up. I have been quiet and distant. I have been unfair.

I know these things. I am sorry i dont know how to talk properly just now. Im working on it, this year.

I love yous.

Now here i am. With a cup of tea and a  window seat. The future a little hazy but exciting. And with all the wonderful company of my beloveds i shall take a deep gulp of tea and breath steady. I am up for this years adventures- may they be plentiful.

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